Friday, September 24, 2010

Dulling

Hey everyone, Oye! Oi galara!!!
its been awhile since I've written on this one, but if you want to know whats going on with me in Brazil check out this blog bkingyainbrazil.blogspot.com . I feel like this post makes more sense here vs. my other blog.
So yesterday I somehow got pulled into being a bus monitor for 41 twelve and thirteen year old Brazilian students who were going to Hopi Hari, the largest theme park in Latin America. One of my friends here is a math teacher at the school and he asked me if I would go because they were having trouble finding enough adults to go because normal adults have jobs that don't let them leave on a Thursday for the whole day. So I went, and it was a blast the kids were good...mostly...and I think Jr. High age kids are funny in whatever language. Quickly though, at the very first they could tell I wasn't Brazilian but they weren't sure where I was from so I asked them to guess. They guessed first Portuguese, then Italian, then Argentine so my Portuguese must be getting better. Pride points yaya. (I know pride isn't always good, but come on that's pretty cool)
My whole life I have been terrified of heights, like I used to be afraid of riding escalators, so I was leery to go to an amusement park. Once I got there though I didn't have to wait in lines because I had a professors pass (perks yaya) but I went directly to the big roller coaster, then the huge tower that lets you drop, and I wasn't that scared. Don't get me wrong I was a scared, and I had a good time, but I didn't have the absolute terror that I have had in the past, and whats weird is it missed it. It let me feel alive, real, and concentrated. As I've gotten older most things have become blurrier and once strong feelings have gotten less, I know its a part of growing up and I started to feel stronger about different things. Its like how your tongue changes as you get older and you start to enjoy the flavors of different things. Like as a kid, I hated onions but today I really enjoy them and I used to love peperoni pizza more than anything else, but now its just ok. My tastes have changed, but when I eat pizza I miss enjoying it the way that I did. I miss feeling with utter confidence about what is right and what is wrong, what is politically right, and what is best. I miss being afraid, of being certain, I miss knowing I was right, but I can't go back to black and white as much as I miss it, but my tastes have changed and I'm liking gray.
Yall be careful y espero que estes con una sonrisa

accidently posted twice

well i accidentally posted twice, but i dont know how to delete.
look above for what i was writing about

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Jeff and Steve

Oye! Che! Oi!!
Days are getting closer to me being in Brazil! I leave July the first. I started a new blog http://bkingyainbrazil.blogspot.com/ all about Brazil stuff, so if you would like to hear about whats going down in Brazil then I'll be writing there too, using this one more for stuff I'm thinking about and the other for what I'm doing and updates about Brazil.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the motivations for why we as people do what we do. I think that everyone almost always has their own self interest at heart when they are doing anything, even if it is altruistic. I think that people often do good deeds in order for reciprocation, even if its only a good feeling that you get from doing it you are still selfish in some way. I mean I question if there is really any selfless act. I think about celebrities who adopt children from other countries, and I wonder, what part of that was done in order to look good to the public. Its difficult when you think about motivations to make things right and wrong. Like for instance lets say Jeff saves Steve's life, but Jeff only saved it in order to become famous and to tell other people about saving him. Is it still a good deed?
To me, it seems that Steve would say that it doesn't matter about the motivations, because Steve is still alive. I think the same goes for the orphans that we see celebrities adopting, if they are having a better life than what they would have had then the motivations don't matter as much...because there is worth in the results. However, I think that is important to try and recognize what it is that makes us do what we do, and try to diminish the self-centered ways we have of looking at things. But, its almost impossible to do so and I think there is no reason to feel absolutely guilty about these motivations, as long as you recognize that they exist and that its not exactly a good thing.
But thats just what I'm thinking about
what do you think?
yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Power

Buenas everyone
Crazy things are happening, I can't even explain it to you. Portuguese, Brazil, paintings, work, class, travel, michael dell, Austin, Bryan, Spanish, Houston, San Antonio, Fredricksburg, Ex-state representatives, San Angelo, Kermit, Denver City, Oplin, TV, reading, music, caffeine, love, dreams, and schemes have all been in my life lately. I could probably write about 40 blog posts about my life the last few weeks but that is the condensed version. I've been moving around a lot lately and it feels good. It was brought to my attention that i have been ignoring my blog since the last time it snowed...regrettable, seeing as I am now wearing shorts. So here is a blog.
In my sophomore year at ACU my roommate Jordan and I had two posters side by side on the wall when you walked into our dorm room. One poster was of Gandhi, and the other of Ernesto “Che” Guevara. Many people would come in and laugh, rightly so, because at first glance it would seem that these two men would be completely opposite in their ideologies. Gandhi, who taught non-violence and Che who killed thousands of people; how could we let them share wall space? Our joking answer was that they were like the good and bad angels that you see on the old cartoons one on the right shoulder and one on the left, however in reality we saw them as two men who were very alike. Che and Gandhi were both revolutionary figures who wanted to change the reality that was around them into something better. They took two completely different stances on violence, Gandhi wrote on satyagraha and ahimsa attempting to show that through training and diligence one could learn to overcome their passions and actively work to change a system while at the same time avoiding violent nature; El Che, on the other hand, was famous for preferring confrontation to compromise, and literally wrote the book on guerrilla warfare. When we look at the two figures it is easy to get caught up in the grandeur of their stories; especially with Guevara, the beleaguered asthmatic warrior fighting for a change that he believed to be right. His travels and the adventure that he made his life are very intriguing and make me want to be alive and be a part of this world; to leave an impact. Gandhi lived with simplicity greater than most men can ever hope to achieve, living in community, fasting and living with a vegetarian diet. He took the writings of Thoreau and applied them to the group level, leading the way to civil disobedience he was followed by Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela. It seems to me that there are a few choices that everyone had to make in their life... One is whether or not to try to change what they see around them, and two, if they do decide to make a change do then take the Che or the Gandhi route...or is there something in the middle. I believe that violence is wrong because I know there is little difference between me and anyone else in the world. There is a better answer than violence almost every time. However for me I think that my Che/Gandhi dilemma is that while I see an issue with the world around me Che on my shoulder tells me to try to help in the most adventurous way that I can muster...and the Gandhi side tells me that there is a better way if I will be patient and unalterable. I guess I will continue to have the two people on my shoulders telling me what do.
Yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

snow

Hey Everybody! Buenas tardes... Boa tarde
heya!!
I hope this finds you well and that your day is going unbelievably well. Today I had boot camp class in the morning, Spanish class, and a test in international law. Then I went to work and now I'm back here.
So yesterday we had a snow day, which was amazing, but this morning there was still a ton of snow on the ground and the remnants of people's snow days all over the place. I saw snow men, snow sharks, snow trains, and an igloo. It made me start thinking about the snow. Snow is ironic. The people who really like the snow and go out in their front yards and play in it but the more you play in the snow the faster it melts. (At least in Texas where snow only lasts one day) It seems that snow is a lot like other things in the world where the people who like it end up going through what they have a whole lot faster than the people who don't like what they have. The other crazy thing is the more snow you get the less its worth to you... like people in Alaska probably don't care about nor want more snow. However if you compare how much fun kids from Texas have with the sames white H2O...every once in awhile, its not the same; the whole law of marginal utility stuff (thanks coach P) and relativity theories all wrapped up into one.
well thats what I was thinking about today.
yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

good old days

Buenas!!!
Hey everybody how are you all tonight?
Today we had another snow day here in Abilene... my roommates and I went to the brand new Pizza Inn here in town and then we came back and had a snow ball fight. Then I did some laundry and watched a weird zombie movie with the roomies. All in all a good day, I should have been a little more productive but I didn't.
I just noticed that this is my 50th blog post, that's halfway to what my goal was and to a point still is. I'm more glad that its a cathartic experience.
Sometimes I wonder about when people talk about the good old days, if those days were really as good as they remember. Some people seem to think that there was some kind of moral purity that is associated with older generations. I think some of that has to do with the childhood innocence that people remember from past ages. Also I think that the same issues we are facing today people were dealing with them too. I think that today our world is just a whole lot more exposed and there is media everywhere. I mean look at this blog that I'm writing, I feel like I let a little of me into this every time I put my words out onto the net for the world to read. There is facebook and twitter where some people let everyone know when they have finished brushing every individual tooth. Then there is the openness of people about things that in the past were taboo to talk about. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad thing but it seems like the only way to solve problems is to bring issues out into the light and discuss them. I think that when we look at the racism, of the past and the memoirs of people who were living in the drug/free love years you could argue that we might even be moving society in a better direction by talking about the issues like STD's and the effects of drugs than ignoring them.
If you look I know today we have less racism and there is more awareness about what is going on around the world in places like Darfur and Burma, but we still have a whole lot of problems; old ones that linger and new ones that we are developing ourselves. I hope that this generation can create a time where the good old days were really good.
But thanks again for reading and I hope this finds you well
Yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Holding up traffic

Boa tarde
Buenas tardes
Today is Sing Song here at ACU, and I am currently in between the first performance of the day and the second one. Sing Song is ridiculous.
I'm sitting here watching Pawn Stars with my roomy brooks. This show is pretty funny, its like Antique Road Show but with recurring characters and tattoos.
It's pretty funny watching the ways they do what do. Their entire life revolves around haggling. It's very interesting to see them work at trying to get people to sell their stuff for cheaper. It's like watching a social experiment every time. Its amazing to see the things that people have squirreled away in their houses or backyards. My grandpa is one of those people, he has his backyard full of stuff, anything from glass insulators for telephone poles to old satellite dishes. You name it he probably has it. He has a notorious reputation for stopping and picking things up out of the middle of he road. I know one time he actually stopped his truck in the middle of traffic and got out to go pick something up. It was stuck. So he went back to his truck and went to his tool box and got a screw driver to pry up the street treasures. All of this while holding up traffic.
Pawn Stars really gets me conflicted, because on one side I see people come into the shop with items that are really incredibly old and are apart of history others come in with stuff like Rolex watches or antique cars. Now my conflict is this, I think some of that stuff is incredible and I think its really interesting the connection that you can make with the owners of the past. I think that its also important to study history to understand why we do the things that we do, but its still just stuff. So while I may have tendencies to be a collector like my grandpa and I love the historical side, and the memories that you can associate with things, I still think we don't need all that much stuff.
So this post has bleed over from yesterday onto today, but Sing Song was fun.
Yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

i love college

Hello!!!
ooo
How are you tonight? I want to thank you for reading my blog today. You have other things you could be doing but your reading here...and I thank you for it.
I don't know why, but for some reason all of my classes seem to always overlap each other. Like right now I'm in International Law, Politics of the Middle East, Peace, Power, and Politics, Spanish Liturature, Ethics, and Boot camp class. Ethics seems to relate to everything, like we have discussed game theory and thought about why people do the things that they do. It seems to me that there are three...maybe four reasons people act. 1. They are afraid 2. there is a reward. 3. they are moved by self-interest 4. there is something deep down that moves them to do what they think is right. I think that many times self-interest can come into play even when the deeds seem to be good deeds. I was writing a paper the other day for Peace, Power, and Politics over religion's role in peace and I started writing about some of these above mentioned topics. In this paper I started out with using a saying in spanish that goes "todos las monedas tienen un otro lado"(every coin has another side) which i had heard in spanish class the week before. In this paper I was writing about religion so naturally Islam came up which brings me back to politics in the middle east, because there are states that are theocratic in the Middle East. From there I go back to spanish class because back in the day the Moors from north africa came up and conquered most of spain, and were stopped from conquering europe by Charles Martel of the Franks. Which brings be back to Peace, Power and Politics because they were definitely not at peace but most religions would say the Franks were right to defend their homeland. O and all of that relates to International law. Now I'm not exactly sure how to connect boot camp into it all without taking a whole nother million sentences
ah college
yall be carefull and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Monday, February 15, 2010

Bracelets

Buenas Everybody,
So I'm writing a paper right now and I realized that I have not been writing lately and I am missing it. I think that with writing daily my brain was having to strain and overcome obstacles and without writing I'm leaving a part of me wilting. Wow, so it has been over a month since I have added anything to this mess of a blog. I promised to be better and I didn't deliver. I am sorry to anyone who had put their trust into my blogging. Life has been immensely convoluted the last month I have been learning Portuguese, practicing almost everyday with my friends Pedro, Rebeca, and Dr. Brown. I'm pathetic at it, but I love it. I am currently in Sing Song with the IEH group(International Students Association, Essence of Ebony, Hispanos Unidos) and while it may seem that I would be out of place with this group my friend Aryanne is the director and she needed more guys. So while I don't ever want to go to practice I have a blast hanging with everyone and goofing off(I may actually be a detriment to the getting stuff done part of Sing Song)
When I was in South America I started collecting bracelets that I wore on my wrists. I had two from Uruguay, one from Brazil, and then this summer I bought three in Mexico. They have been falling off the last few months and each one has been sad. I was down to my last one...the biggest one I had which I bought from a hippy girl in La Plaza Independencia en Montevideo. I just now realized that its gone and I don't know where it is. I have gone almost a year and a half with this same bracelet, never taking it off. I rarely thought about it when it was on but now I mourn its loss. It is an unexpected sadness, because as each bracelet fell off I knew the day was coming that it would fall as well. It's just one more connection to that seems to be lost, because even if I find it and tie it back on it will be my hand that ties it instead of hers.
I am not very good at most things, however, I do have the ability to make very quick very intense connections with people. While I am a very lighthearted person, when these connections sputter out the relationships I have with people change and people drift in and out of my life, its lamentable and it hangs heavy with me when I think about it.
But the other thing that I am really good at is procrastination and I need to get back to this paper.
Yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Monday, January 18, 2010

Mundito

Hello!!! buenas! que onda?
So hace mucho tiepo que no escribia(its been awhile that i havent been writing) but i just havent been much in the mood to write anything. Well I am back in good old DC, at least for a few more minutes I came home to help out with the second annual Bilingual Christian Conference that my church puts on. They asked me to say a prayer en espanol y english, which is a whole lot more difficult than just talking because there is no one to bounce off of and then you have to transulate it. I got to help out a little and it was a blast. I got to see some people who i haven't seen in a year and then yesterday I saw a girl who i met in Guadalajara this summer who is going to be helping with the youth group Denver City for the next few months. This world is smaller than we want to make it.
For the last few days I've been struggling with trying to figure out what exactly I believe and what is it that I have convinced myself I belive because its convienant. I know that I tell myself a whole lot of half-truths to make some of what i do ok. But its a tough deal when someone brings that to your face and pulls out the supports from the defences that you have built around the way you live. I have been thinking about a lot of things like this lately and I feel like I have grown a whole lot from it.
well I need to start driving back to abilene so im going to head out
yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Friday, January 8, 2010

Image

Hello everyone!!! Boa tarde, bom dia, buenas
I hope today finds you well. Im just chillen here until school starts on Monday along with school come everything else and so life gets complex yet again. I sitting here with my roomate john and his girlfriend watching Lord of the Rings. Its a good movie, but the books are better. I feel like a bit of a nerd for saying that but its true. I even read the books before I saw the movies... does that make me nerdy? Probably. You know when you think about the ways everyone presents themselves. We all want people to like us and we always try to present ourselves in the most positive light...well at least for the people we care about presenting ourselves to. Its hard for me at least to let go of the image that I have built up and really just be. I mean you look at where people find their identity. Many times its in other people, or their jobs, or the stuff they do. One example is the clicks that you see develop in high school(for me I guess I would have been considered a jock, nerd, drama geek...but it was a small school so you had room to be a few things) and try to pretend they don't exist in the rest of your life. Its so cool to be cool, but not always rewarding. When you ask someone who they are the usually tell you their profession or that they are a singer or that they whatever it may be. I know that might be a bit cliche but I still think that it's true. One day I hope to be just Brandon. Whoever that may be.
Well that's it for today.
Yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

dominoes

buen noche! So I'm sitting here watching the National Championship of Division 1 College football UT v. Alabama. Its looking pretty bad for the horns but que sera, sera. Today I was basically a bum.
Over this last Christmas break I got to spend time with my family. I especially loved getting to spend time with my brothers. We might now always be doing anything cool or fun but we are spending time together. Sometimes that is the most important part of it just being together and seeing what memories are created. I had a lot of funny just chilling with family playing dominoes and trying not to be the old maid. We could even just be sitting around playing on the computer together and still memories were made. I went to watch Avatar with my family and it has to be one of my top 5 blockbuster movies of all time.(even though its basically Pocahontas...in space) I really enjoyed it, and it led to a long political/life discussion with my parents. It funny how little things can lead to big things.
In other news I just finished reading the Irresistible Revolution and I think everyone else should too.
yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

California

Que onda muchachos?
How is everyone? I really hope your having a phenomenal day filled with love, friends, and family. I have spent this day thinking and reading. Trying to get my brain prepared for this upcoming semester(my last real one at ACU) and for my future. One thing about me is I like to make plans...now it may not seem like it, because I seem to follow the first opportunity that comes into my life however I do make plans. I used to have plans to become an optometrist, I was going to come to ACU play football, major in biology, and got to optometry school afterward. Where I get into trouble is that I'm always open for something new and to scrap my plans, make new ones, and then scuttle those all over again. I don't know how you can become an spontaneous planner, but I am one. Give me one direction change in my life and within fifteen minutes I've got a direction for the next fifteen years of my life. Luckily themes have started to develop and instead of changing my entire plans its more like taking a different road to the same place...actually its more like if I was wanting to go to California and I didn't have a specific place in mind in California, and started going west. On the way I keep hearing about cool places and change my mind whether I would rather go to Los Angeles, San Fransisco, or just the beach. But I'm still headed to Cali.
haha kind of a weird analogy I know, especially for someone who has never been to California but I think it has some truth. Hopefully my spontaneity can help me in the future, but who knows I may decide I want to see Maine...
Well thats it for today
Yall be carful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Reason

Muchas buenas noches que pasa?
Whats happening this evening?
Today felt good. I got up really early and took Brooks and his girlfriend Kristina to the airport, they are headed to Colorado until school starts. I had lunch with a bunch of people who have gone to Uruguay as well, not with me but, they had all gone. I then went to the office where I work and set my work schedule for next week, and a few other things.
I wonder sometimes about some strange things. I think about what people believe and the way my mind works is to find ways flaws in their reason. It's part of the reason that I am a PolySci major. But what would you say to something like "I believe that Jesus Christ is really a time traveler from the future who with future technology was able to go back in time and perform miracles" or that "I think that the Greek gods were really an incredible civilization that was before the Greeks who had a war similar to our nuclear war and the tales of the gods were just their way of explaining this past that to them was unexplainable" Now most of us would call these completely ridiculous and I don't personally believe either one, but it would be hard to prove someone wrong with any kind of scientific method. You can only tell them what you believe and why you believe it, be that scripture, thoughts, or emotions. Don't get me wrong I am attacking no one with this its just amazing when you think about what people can do if they believe something is completely true. Look at suicide bombers, or some of the actions of crusaders, people like Hitler and Pol Pot all believed that they were right and convinced others that they were. Its tricky in today's world of incomparable information to know what is true.
well like I said I usually look at flaws in reason and I'm sure there is some in mine but I think that I have found what I believe and I have reasons for it. However I think that there should always be room to grow and to be open to new ideas...whether or not they are truth is another story. However it is important to know what all the ideas are in order to decipher what is truth.
Well just some ideas
yall be carful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Monday, January 4, 2010

Tight Ropes

Hello everybody!!! Que pasa?
Well today was a good day I did laundry, got to hang out with the roommates, and then spent time with my friend Lauren.
My roommate brooks got a x-box for Christmas and it could be the bane of our semester. We played some today and we had a whole lot of fun. I hope that we can balance well this semester.
Its funny how with our lives we put so much on our plates and try to live life on the wire. I think if I was better at organizing my time so all the things I have going on would be easier at times, but I'm not sure if spending my time organizing my time is a valuable enough way of spending my time. I hope that made sense. I think where I sometimes what gets me into trouble is I value people more than I do other things so while I may plan to do one thing I will put it off in order to spend more time with people.
Well short one today still need to get back in the groove
yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Iceburgs

Buen Dia everybody!
I am back in Abilene! It has been about two weeks since I last posted...I am a failure at my 100 days straight. I made it one third of the way there and then the holidays hit and I decided that spending time with family was more important than writing a blog. I am a creature of habit as well and while here in Abilene my habit is to write a blog everyday, when I'm outside of Abilene...well yall can see what can happen. I going to start back up beginning today so here I go. So I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday season and I'm looking forward to seeing all you ACU folks at school!
One thing that is funny about writing this blog is seeing what people respond to. Thank you to everyone who does leave comments I try to go and read them all, but blogspot doesn't let me know that I have received a comment so sometimes its a few days later before actually see what it has to say. So I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your comment, however please keep leaving them they are very encouraging. But what I find really interesting is the posts that I think are really good and that I like writing usually aren't the ones that I get responses from. I guess its a small testament to how different we are.(or to how strange I am...one of the two) I'm a connector and achiever...those are two really strong personality traits that I have, I am also scatterbrained and while I'm something of a jack-of-all-trades I am an expert at nothing. I have two younger brothers who while we come from the same gene pool we are all very different people. My younger brother Jared has a way of focusing on what he finds important which is amazing to me. He taught himself how to play guitar and several other instruments and he can organize and plan and make great things happen...but only on stuff that he finds important. If its not important to him he won't do it... So most of the time things like grades and cleaning his room get put on the back burner while he is writing a new song. My other brother Kaleb is very responsible, always getting the things that he needs to get done finished. He is a very hard worker and will push himself to meet the responsibilities that he has. Me, well I think that its very difficult to try to look at yourself honestly and distinguish where you are flawed and where you are gifted. I think that I am a passionate person who at times may be a bit over-diplomatic. I think I build a whole lot of very shallow connections very easily and very few deep ones. I am naturally something of an entertainer and many of my relationships are built on that, but who I am isn't always who I seem to be. Not that I'm being deceitful but I'll only let people see one piece of me. I think that sometimes I portray confidence to hide fear.
Well I don't want to get too cheesy here... but I think that most of the people that we know are like that too. You may know them, but only the part of them that you see. Like icebergs there may be a whole lot more there than is visual. I want to try to remember this in my relationships moving forward.
well first post back another one tomorrow.
Yall be careful and ojala que estes con una sonrisa